Saturday, October 24, 2009
Listening
We will be discussing in class on Monday the topic of listening. What is listening exactly? Is it the same as hearing? How is listening connected to effective communication? Please comment in the blog a moment when you were a poor listener. Give us a summary of the incident. Identify what happened as a result of the poor listening experience? And, what could have turned this incident to a more productive communication experience?
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Listening to is not only hearing when someone speaks but also processing it. Just letting it go in one ear and out the other is defintely not listening. Listening is connected to effective communication because in order to communicate well with other people you need to also know how to listen. I am a poor listener when i have other things on my mind. My mind cannot focus on listening to someone else talks. I need to learn how to put other things aside and focus on the person talking. Besides that i like listening to other people. Sometimes when i have other things on my mind i forget to listening to importants things, for instance one time or another ihave forgot to listenin to something a teacher in high school said. As a result i missed an important assignment, by not lisetning because i had other things on my mind. I could have listened to the assignment and have done it. By missing a reading assigment i could have been a better communicated when we discussed the reading assignment the next day in class. When your young and in high school you seem to sometimes turn off other people talking because you have a lot of other things on your mind.
ReplyDeleteAs I have heard many times, there are big differences between simply hearing something and truly listening. Just hearing the words being spoken to you is often times not enough to fully absorb what is being attempted to be conveyed. Being attentive and willing to take direction is key in listening effectively. One must not only hear the words being spoken but also mentally process what is being said. This requires not only one to stop talking themselves, in order to best take in the information, but to take the time to fully consider the directive, and perhaps provide follow-up feedback or clarifying questions to best understand what is being said. One particular time at work I was being given an assignment similar to one I had done many times before. The difference this particular time being that a slight change to standard procedures was required and was attempted to be communicated to me. I foolishly and stubbornly believed I knew it all, and did not fully listen to the directions. I assumed I knew what to do, and that it was a routine task and did not take the time to listen to the differences in the requirements this particular time. What ended up happening was not only frustrating but extremely humbling. I wound up having to undo and subsequently redo the long task to correct the mistake I made that was the direct result of me not listening in the first place. I could have turned this incident into a more productive communication experience by putting my ego aside and taking the time to listen without making an assumption that listening thoroughly was not required. I should have realized that if others take the time to speak, that I should give them the same respect that I would want if roles were reversed, and take the time to listen.
ReplyDeleteListening is our ability to open our mind to receive information, process it, and at a later time, recollect it. The difference between listening and hearing lies in the fact that when we listen, we listen for the long term and not the short term as we would only when we are hearing. We listen in cases of our friends needing to talk to us, when we receive instruction at work, and when we are in class at school just to name a few. In each case, we must open our minds to receive important information that we will need to recollect at a later time. When we are hearing, we are only preparing for the short term as we are receiving, not making much of an effort to process, and really have no intention of recollecting. These reactions to hearing may lie in the fact that when we are hearing, we are bored, day-dreaming, thinking off track, and not totally focused on what we should be focused on. Hearing seems like cutting the corner of listening as we may be able to receive information, but not remember any of it as exemplified in poor communication in terms of public speaking.
ReplyDeleteI can remember one instance of poor listening in my OCC public speaking class when a speaker was talking about how much "old people" bothered him. He proceeded to latch on to stereotypes and misfortunes he observed from his job and use them to fuel the humor and central idea of his speech. The class really enjoyed it as they laughed along with him. My professor actually had to stop the speech because it demonstrated poor ethics and we as the audience, demonstrated poor listening. She went on to explain that we demonstrated poor listening because we completely disregarded ethics and continued to fuel the speaker with the type of feedback (in this case laughter) he needed to continue. She explained that instead of laughing at what we knew were poor ethics, we should have really listened to what the speaker was saying and provide feedback that would let him know that what he was saying was unethical; such as subtle expressions.
Listening provides the framework for effective communication, because when we truly listen, we can provide the speaker with effective feedback to help that speaker become even better. In addition, when we listen, we may give the speaker more confidence and comfort as he or she knows they have our attention and that we are listening to what they are saying. Most importantly, when we listen effectively we are giving the speaker respect. We are respecting the speaker by acknowledging their time and effort by focusing on them and their message. Once again, there is a big difference between listening and hearing. It is up to us as the audience to differentiate between the two.
Listening is the process of being fully attentive to and clearly perceptive of what is coming from the many sources of communication one interacts with on a daily basis. Listening and hearing are two completely different avenues of receiving information. As we discussed in class earlier today, hearing is a passive process, while listening is an active process. Listening requires one's full energy. Listening is connected to effective communication because all types of social communication revolve around the need to listen to one another and respond based on what the person says, whether with their verbal, nonverbal, or both. In conflict resolution, the skill of listening is especially effective, and of high importance.
ReplyDeleteI am usually an excellent listener, and many of my friends over the years have commented how I listen really well, but I can recall a particular instance in which I exhibited poor listening skills.
In the church youth group that I am a part of, we did an outreach over the summer on the boardwalk in Seaside, where we performed drama skits. Two of these dramas required facial makeup for three of the characters involved. Prior to this outreach, a month or so before, a team from New York needed to borrow our suitcase full of drama costumes. One of our youth leaders told me to hold onto the makeup kit and place it in a spot where I would not forget it for when the suitcase was returned. I put it away in a safe place in our youth room that night as soon as I was told, but for some reason, I had completely forgotten that the incident even happened.
When I opened up the suitcase the day of the outreach, I discovered that we did not have the makeup kit inside. Makeup was imperative for these particular dramas, or else it would not produce near the same result. Not only did I forget where I put the makeup kit, I did not recall our youth leader telling me to put it somewhere where I wouldn't forget! Talk about ironic. As a result of the poor listening experience, I was stressed out, worried about what had happened to the kit, scrambled trying to find a way around not having the makeup kit with us that day, and as well, had to own up to my mistake and the fact that I may have cost the youth ministry at least $30 in order to buy all new supplies.
Thankfully, the day of the outreach, we had a facepainting station with us, so we simply used that as the makeup for the dramas and it worked out fine. In addition, I looked for the makeup kit in our youth room the following night and it was in the first spot I checked. In the long run, it was not a fatal mistake, but in the moment, it was costly. In order to turn this incident into a more productive communication experience, I could have repeated over to my youth leader what I heard her say regarding what my assignment entailed with the makeup kit, I could have repeated the assignment to myself after the interaction occured, and I could have written it down when I arrived home.
Because I have three children, I have learned how to block out noise and sometimes valuable information. There is not a minute in my day that I do not have three small, inquisitive children asking me how, what and/or why? In a constant struggle for sanity, I have had to learn how to block out the constant noise in my home in order to focus on the task at hand. I can not help but hear them talking to me, but I can not always actively listen to everything they are saying.
ReplyDeleteListening is as active process. It involves the process of paying attention, hearing, understanding and finally retaining the information. When we are not actively listening, we are unable to make a connection to what we are hearing. In order to effectively listen, we my put aside all other noise in an effort to obtain and retain as much of the information that is presented to us.
Since I was cooking and on the phone with our medical insurance company, I did not listen to my 2 year old daughter telling me that she could not shut off the bathroom sink water. I simply patted her on the head, smiled at her and continued to cook and take the phone call. It wasn't until after my phone call that I really listened to what she was trying to express to me. By that time, the bathroom was flooded and the water was beginning to drip through the recessed lighting on the first floor. I was not being a good listener, and at the moment I was not being a good mom. I have learned from that experience to stop momentarily what I am doing, and to listen to what my children have to say. After listening to what they have to say, I can then determine whether the information the are presenting to me is valuable or not. In the end, being a good listener would have saved me time, money and aggravation.
Listening and hearing are two different things, you can hear someone but you may not be listening to them. There are times when I hear my mother tell me to wash the dishes but in the same sense even though I hear her doesn't mean I am listening to what she tells me and in most cases I forget what she says. Listening is very effective in communication because when having a conversation with someone you have to be focused on that person and not only hear them but listen attentively and be fully involved in what they are saying.
ReplyDeleteThere was one situation when I didn't listen when my father was trying to tell me he was going to be late picking me up from school. I was watching a movie with a group of my friends and he came in the room to tell me that he wouldn't be able to pick me up from school until maybe 2pm. I replied with "ok dad" with no regard to what he was saying. Well, the next day rolled around and i got out of class at 12pm and he wasn't there. I called him over and over again until he called me back screaming at me because he was in an important meeting. I got mad at him for not telling me he was going to be late and had me waiting around for two hours. He began to tell me that he did tell me, I was pretty embarassed at that moment and learned that whenever someone is talking to me to give them my 100% attention no matter what I am doing at the time.
Listening is different from hearing. You can hear a lot of noise around you but to actually comprehend what is going on - you need to listen. Your attention needs to be focused on the person speaking otherwise you will not process what they are saying.
ReplyDeleteI can be a poor listener in school. I day dream occasionally and can completely tune out a person. It's not because the professor is boring me it's just because I usually have a lot on my mind. The result of that is that I don't get the information I need for certain assignments and tests. This obviously isn't helpful in college. However, I've had this problem more in high school. I've become better in college by eye contact. When my eyes are focused on something so is my mind. So whenever I can catch myself day dreaming I usually focus on the professor.
Often when given assignments in class I am a poor listener. I will write down what i think is adequate then look at it later and have no idea what the assignment is. This happened to me alot in one of my English classes. There were numerous occassions where I had to email the professor for what i believed to be further instruction. Only for the professor to tell me that he had already relayed this information to me. In truth, many of this classes assignments were fairly difficult and included many steps so it required good listening skills that i obviously lacked.
ReplyDeleteI began to pay very close attention when the professor would give out assignments and write down more specific notes. I no longer assumed that I would just remember what the professor had said. This worked out quite well for me. The extra attention I paid to the instruction and use of better listening skills resulted in an A! Now I try to practice this in all my classes.
Listening is extremely important in all aspects of life because you want other people to feel that you are involving yourself in what they are telling you, just as you would expect others to do the same for you. Listening is give and take. Understanding something that you hear involves listening attentively. In class on monday, i really tried to tune into "how" the professor was delivering her lesson and how i could mimic her delivery skills as a speaker in my future persuasive speeches. I thought her persuasive listening speech was very effective in persuading me to be a better listener. The toughest obstacle to overcome when listening is tuning out everything else going on whether internally or externally and concentrating on the speaker's viewpoint and identifying the message he or she wants us to learn.
ReplyDeleteListening is the process of hearing and processing what someone has said. Listening is important in effective communication because it helps us understand what is being said to better add to the conversation or improve ourselves. Listening enables us to get grasp on the world and is the major factor in learning.
ReplyDeleteI’ve always tried to be a good listener towards my friends. No matter what the situation is I try to be there listen to the problem and help give advice on how to make the situation better, or even just hear them out.
The only time that I remember being a poor listener was when I was 13. Everyday after school I would hang out with my friends, as the days went on one friend started to become distant. I would still go and talk to her but never really listen to what was going on. Eventually she cut of almost all contact with me and joined the navy. I think back now and realize that she had issues with the world, and was trying to find someone who would listen. Because I wasn’t listening she shut out other people. if I only listened to what she said we would still be friends today and I wouldn’t have lost a good friend.